What do you say when you have really hurt someone?

We all hurt other people from time-to-time. Here are the steps to as complete a way to apologize that I know of.

  • Ask them to share their feelings with you.
  • Be present with them as they speak.
  • Occasionally, reflect back what you heard in your own words, “If I understand you correctly, you feel….”
  • Once they have run out of things to say, begin your apology:
    • Make a sincere expression of remorse.
    • Accept responsibility for your role in what happened.
    • Offer to make amends for what happened.
    • Promise to take the steps required to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
  • Forgive yourself

©2016 Stephen L. Martin

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